a bit haywired
Woke up yesterday in steep hangover. Total alcohol intake for my birthday toast? Two ounces of champagne. Nested safe under cover, I reflected on all the celebratory fullness, so not the ocean-filled decade passage I’d planned. Yet being with all my children and grandchildren then six-foot front yard mingling with friends I hadn’t seen for weeks…truly brilliant. A memorable day, for sure.
So why this hangover? Are you ready for this? Flesh overdose. Seriously. My sheltered nervous system, overwhelmed by the proximity of so many breathing bodies, was in serious contraction. Not to mention how all that tantalizing closeness left me hug aching. I did the best I could to isolate-recover all day. Oh my. What’s it going to take to emerge from all this? Will this next chapter require titration? Slow, steady sips of humanity?
I don’t believe the Zoom experience is prepping us. Therapist Gianpiero Petriglieri writes about how video connection scrambles our nervous systems. “Our minds tricked into the idea of being together, when our bodies feel we are not…It’s easier being in each other’s presence, or each other’s absence, than in the constant presence of each other’s absence….We sense too little and cannot imagine enough.”
Been tracking my nervous system shifts related to use of this software. Which I utilize for personal and professional connection. Have you noticed? Six weeks ago: huge resistance WTF attitude. Nervous system frustration related to sensing too little, not imagining enough. Work felt impossible, being in student mode lacking, personal connection ghostly eerie. Three weeks ago: well, OK, what else are we going to do? Moments of overwhelm drowning in technology depths. Hey this is better than nothing, community can be together, altered teaching mode captured my curiosity. But still, this jarring, disintegrating sense of being in the presence of each other’s absence.
Today: hey I actually felt a somatic connection with this wee box person, someone I have historically moved with, breathed with, touched in the not-too-distant past. I can lean into that history, energetically sense you here with me. Somehow my nervous system feels nourished by this. Tomorrow? I’m astounded at the evidence of human adaptability, flexibility, the obvious fluidity of a regenerative nervous system. Sensing we may be forever changed by this chapter, ready for the new abnormal to emerge. We‘re on the brink of an unimaginable future, a destiny where despair might be tempered and charged by the delight of discovery.
In the meantime, we have faith in body as resource. Let both hands quietly rest over your precious pulsing heart, an organ richly embedded with its own network of neurons. When it senses warmth and pressure, it responds by quieting the nervous system, reducing cortical fear signals. Now purse your soft lips and slow down the next five out breaths. More nervous system quieting. This simple integrating practice is antidote to the disintegrating stimuli surrounding us. We are being blasted from all sides. Take care.
I’ll be holding space for care taking with four different Zoom classes this week.
Tuesday May 5 10:00: Essentials, an hour support for you beauties yearning for easy ways to be well. How much do you know about fascia and the incredible way it weaves us together and why releasing restrictions can be so beneficial? I love this video! Pre-enroll.
Wednesday May 6 6:15: Waves, support for dancers wanting to be held in 5Rhythms practice. Every week we’ve evolved the way we are offering this practice and I’m gratified and surprised by the new people joining us in the sanctity of their homes. Music plus guidance all on Zoom now. Pre-enroll.
Friday May 8 10:00: Deeper Being A 90 minute practice for students who have deep-dived into Essentials long enough to participate in a very active releasing, toning and asana practice. By invitation only.
May 10 9:45: Mother’s Day Sweat Your Prayers. This has traditionally been an opportunity to bring your children to dance with you. And why not now? Physically or energetically invite your biological or circumstantial mom and/or children to celebrate on this day dedicated to all aspects maternal. Same format as Wednesday. Pre-enroll.
One more time. Hands quietly at rest over heart while you slow down the next five out breaths. Feel the possibility of this calm oasis. Take care.
Love, ❤️bella (now 7 decades in…)