willing to be fierce…
Between travel and teaching, two months had passed since sweating my own prayers on Sunday morning. That’s just too long. And last Sunday was the Black Dance, which has been a thing here in Sac at least 15 years. Maybe more. In a room draped in darkness, Meaghan Williams was laying down the beats for two waves. Early in the first wave, an in- your-face staccato hip hop track unleashed something buried deep. Overwhelming rage pulsed out my pores igniting the space around me.
For sure, I have felt oodles of despair lately, but this undercurrent felt like an emotional minefield I had conveniently bypassed. Or just wasn’t willing to acknowledge. There was not one thing personal about this super-charged anger. It spilled all over the current state of the world. It surprised the hell out of me, an uncensored explosive expression.
Fury about happenings in this country and the way this venom seems to be rippling through nations across the globe. The way we cannot sit down and agree to sacrifice even one thing for this ailing planet. The utter disregard for multitudes in need reflected so appallingly by hordes in greed. The senseless absurdity of war. The shocking incompetence and downright stupidity of those entrusted with public service.
In the wave, after staccato comes chaos. Always. By the time this rhythm landed, my physicality had moved what needed moving. So I just shook remnants out of muscle and bone and realized that level of intensity would serve nobody. What else could I do? Well I got an answer in wave #2 when the thump of staccato set fire to the whole dynamic again.
But this time the energy had shifted, distilled, clarified. The generic fury catalyzed into fiery willingness. A courageous stance, to protect what needs defense, to own and harness my considerable ferocity. This is how healthy anger serves. I was on the receiving end of unhealthy anger throughout a formative childhood. It’s a feeling state I’ve consciously and unconsciously avoided ever since. Anger has been worked around or come out sideways my whole adult life. This anger felt robust holy.
This time as I let go in chaos, I felt fully capable of surrender. Which is a good back pocket skill should ferocity fail. I love 5Rhythms practice. Even after all these years it can surprise the hell out of me. Next Sunday is the White Dance. Because light always follows dark and the solstice is fast approaching.
I’ll miss this last Sunday Sweat of 2024…but you can be there. I have 55 pair of double tennis balls packed for release time with some brilliant yogis while assisting Sarana Miller at Esalen. I love this part of my work. Teaching these life affirming techniques is what Letting Go is about. The last offering in this series is January 12, 2025 (!). And BTW, I’m teaching Release & Realign Dec 20, 27, Jan 3. Physical release is such medicine for the furies. Come drop into the surrendered peace of these offerings. In fact, as this year comes to a close, I hope you find your way to the surrendered peace of any offering that presents itself to you. We are in dire need.
❤️Bella